Friday, August 16, 2013

i have disappoint

So Disney's Malecifent is not REALLY evil

just another 'victim' of circumstance

WTF…. We are going to REDEEM Maleficent now??? It was not bad enough that we have EQ getting this backstory via OUAT because we have to be able to pity the evils … But now we are taking the ULTIMATE Disney villian, the one that taught us, that sometimes people are JUST EVIL.  Sometimes bad things happen for no justifiable reason
Well, now we are giving her a justifiable reason to become evil, I am concerned that we are making excuses for people
It can’t be my fault i turned into a drug addict that beats the crap out of people and breaks into convience stores… it’s cause i had a rough time growing up, single family, bad school…. HOW could I possibly be responsible for evil doing? Society is the problem not me

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Just another facebook status...

What bipolar means, continued....

compilation of facebook statuses

bipolar means not being able to trust any memories or anyone. It means not remembering what happened 10 minutes ago. It means having no control over what your brain is doing. i admit, the past 3 months have been some of the hardest i have ever experienced. And it's going to get worse before it gets better. I honestly wish i could go back to the mind numbing depression that casued me to sleep for 8 months. That was not living, but it was not as nightmarish as this is right now. 

my illness is bad enough, but other people not being able to get shit done, when they are fucking healthy? And me seeing all the things i work so hard on fall apart? i am friken pissed off.

i cannot stand this one day up, one day down chronic pain, dizzy shit, i don't know if it's me, the meds, the lack of meds, i am just a mess. i hate you bipolar. 

You are no longer fun

Monday, August 5, 2013

a letter to a suicidal girl.

darling, as someone who also suffers from depression and thoughts of suicide. i can tell u this, we have to fight. we have to try different medications, treatments, we have to grasp the great moments tight. because we are here for a reason. we may never know why. But there are things we do that change other's lives for the better. Believe in the tiny bright moments, fight the darkness, remember it's all just bad chemistry. And maybe one day, when i am ready to give up, you'll be the one to stop me. be blessed. xx

Friday, August 2, 2013

selected status updates regarding my current crisis state, and the journey to recovery through medication adjustment, and prayer.

(from facebook and tumblr)

April 2013

Friends of adi sevice announcement-- i am not intentionally ignoring anyone- just i am only capible of comminication on a non-personal level right now- questions like how are you, are likely not to get an answer because i am triggered by the questions... Mental illness sometimes wins- 

Ah depression, two relatively 'good' days in a row- means a whammy of a bad day to pay for it.  and i had wanted to go outside today.

Sometimes getting something small done is a giant victory- i fixed the buttonsese on my horse sweater. Yay!

Do you ever think about how how some people can be such horrible people that they leave dark marks on your soul, they cause hurt simply because they consider themselves to be the centre of the universe, and therefore nothing matters more than their pride and happiness? That they just carry on, and the people that have been hurt watch helplessly as they hurt others. As they continue to use you well after you have tried to sever all ties. le sigh